My Vaginismus Story
PLEASE DESCRIBE YOUR CONDITION (details) I have been battling vaginismus for as long as I could remember. I tried almost everything like therapy, taking Xanax, changing my diet, meditating and surgery including hymenectomy. At the age of 12 I couldn’t put in a tampon and now I can’t have sexual intercourse or put anything else in. It feels like a brick wall. I try daily and nothing ever goes through. I had a pelvic exam under anesthesia and they said it’s all in my head and everything is normal. I cry almost every single day, several times a day and feel like I am at war with my own body. I have a pretty high pain tolerance and I consider myself a pretty opened person with a free spirit. I am now 19 years old and quite depressed because of this condition. Penetration is one thing but more than that this, it gives me many thoughts such as: “will a man ever accept me with this condition?”, “will I ever be able to have kids?”, but most of all “will I ever be free and at peace with my own body?”. I don’t want to keep wasting months and years of my life feeling, desperate, hopeless and abnormal. I am sick of going from doctor to doctor with no answer, no help and false hope. This condition is obviously not life threatening but it has at times made me wonder if life is even worth it. I really hope that you will have the time to treat me before you retire.
Alexa 19 years’ old
Post treatment Vaginismus
I didn’t want to keep wasting months and years of my life feeling desperate, hopeless and abnormal so on August 18, 2015 I finally received treatment. I have an infinite amount of gratitude towards Dr. Pacik and the procedure he has created. Throughout treatment, he showed genuine compassion and still to this day, stays as a dedicated support system to myself and all of the other women he has previously treated. I look back at the struggle I went through and now have the chance to greatly appreciate what many women may take for granted. I am finally a fully functional woman! The joy I feel from having overcome this obstacle never gets old. Thank you Dr. Pacik for you have truly changed my life and brightened up the path ahead of me. I am very confident that there is hope and a solution for you all.
Alexa, 20 years’ old
This patient wrote her own story and gave permission to publish it so others can better understand vaginismus. I encourage women to visit my website www.PacikVaginismus.com. Though I am retired now I continue to advocate for women with vaginismus and continue to be involved with the scientific community. We have made enormous headway with vaginismus treatment. I felt it important to develop a one-hour film “Understanding and Treating Vaginismus” to summarize the many years of work I did in this field and to help women in some small way towards a path of recovery.
Peter T Pacik, MD, FACS